the net101 blog

Dear Little Miss Social

I own a small, established vintage clothing boutique in Melbourne and have heard that social media might be helpful for my business. I also have a young niece who is studying an Arts degree and is keen to take over the full control of my social media responsibilities in her spare time. She’s smart and spends most of the day on Facebook already, so I think it might be a good fit. What are your thoughts?

Yours Sincerely, Jessica Francis

Dear Gentle Reader

Let a person under the age of 30 loose on your social media? What a frightful thought! Little Miss Social would never countenance it. As dear Mr. Wilde once quipped, “I am not young enough to know everything.”

No, no, no, the social media for your business is too important a responsibility to be handled by anybody but yourself. What’s demanded is a seasoned and steady hand at the tiller. It’s still business as usual you know.

It’s easy to forget the ‘social’ in ‘social media’. This is a milieu which operates on human behavioural insight, drawn-out courtships, intelligence, wit and a healthy appreciation of the double-entendre.

It is you who must drive this initiative. How ever would your niece – as charming a girl as I’m sure she is – manage the process of discoursing with customers? What missives would she post? Little Miss Social sees too much flotsam in the streams already. How ever would she respond to a line of question or possess the mental dexterity to intercept and blunt the arrow of a customer complaint?

Conversation Gentle Reader – social media is the art of conversation. Does she write with aplomb? Could she be relied upon to furnish the appropriate rejoinder in a social media conversation thread? I think not. How could she?

Or at the very least does she possess a deep working knowledge of your wares, your vintage beauties? Would she be able to discuss upon them with confidence and authority, or would she merely peddle them with the brashness of a camel trader at a market bizarre?

No, Gentle Reader – we want you. It must be you. Pray, who else?

LinkedIn is a network of professionals. You’re a professional. You need to look the part. These types of profile pics just don’t make the grade:

The Placeholder
No image at all. Faceless. Unrecognisable. Lazy.

The Full Body
A little bit fancy, but when rendered as a 50 X 50 thumbnail against your status updates and posts I can’t make out your face.

The Fam
It’s the whole family (inc. your dog). Lovely, but way too much back-story.

The Person of Action
So that’s you trekking in the Himalayas/ skydiving/ competing in a half-marathon – and your point is…?

The Party Girl/ Guy
You love to party, and here you are just a little bit pissed (we can tell that by the way you’re neck-clutching that bottle of Moet).

The Selfie
Really?

The I’m-So-Sexy
Well, that certainly is a VAST AMOUNT of cleavage.

The Fancy Dress
You’re dressed as a zombie and that scares me. You’re in a tuxedo and that scares me even more.

The Younger You
You from 10+ years ago – fine if you’re not planning on ever meeting anyone in person.

If you want to be a social media marketer or work in a role with social media responsibilities don’t let these assumptions stop you:

You need to be young
No, you need a deep and wide experience about how things work in your chosen industry sector. And what makes people tick. And life generally.

You need to forget everything you learnt about marketing and business
No, those core principles apply more than ever: know your market, know your customer, build credibility, engender trust, forge meaningful relationships.

Your need to be technical
No, you need to be articulate and creative and a producer/ publisher of media which is valued by others.

You need permission to start
No, give yourself permission. Start now.

You need to be in a job before you can start applying your knowledge and the theory
No, you need a live project to work on, any project – give yourself invaluable hands-on learning with a focus. Pick a hobby, a cause, help a friend’s business, anything. See above point.

You need to have worked in social media already to get a social media role
No, past job-titles and polished CV’s count for little in this space. Show us what you’ve already created and what you’re currently working on. Start crafting your online portfolio. See above 2 points.

You need money
No, you need time. Time is the new money. Watch less TV.

You need to be big to get noticed
No, you need to find and develop your niche. Quality trumps quantity. Find your groove-thing and ‘own it’.

You need to know exactly what you’re doing
No, you need to constantly experiment and fail and learn and work it out on the fly like the rest of us.

You need to be very serious
Fish.

Sure – I’ve pissed off, offended and managed to get a bunch of people royally off-side.

I’ve had people cancel their course bookings after receiving their first NET:101 newsletter (couple that with plenty of unsubscribes). I’ve had complaints about my text on images quotes (“filthy and offensive”) and admonishing emails about my satirical social media blog (“very unprofessional”). I’ve embarrassed and disappointed people who’ve tried to book one of my mock courses, and I’ve confused countless others who don’t know why I’m holding a snapper by the tail on the homepage of my website (btw, I’m also confused about this).

How far is too far?

While I don’t set out to deliberately offend, it does fill me with minor delight when it happens. I view it as a sign that I’m headed in the right direction because I don’t think any organisation can confidently hold and articulate a clear brand-position without marginalising a few folk. It’s okay to show everybody the door, watch a minority beat an exit and then connect more ably with those left in the room. I’m also doubly-sure that no-one is asking for more of the same bland website, blog, social media wishy-washy, cliché-ridden, me-too rubbish that’s being bandied about. And anyway, try to please everybody with lowest common denominator output and you’ll end up pleasing nobody – better to save your energy.

How far is too far? Not as far as you probably think… but have fun finding out.

NB: No animals were harmed in the production of this post

 

Facebook threw a party in the county jail
The fans were there and they began to wail
The newsfeed was jumpin’ and the joint began to swing
You should’ve heard them investors sing

Let’s rock; everybody, let’s rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin’ to the Facebook Rock

Advertisers played the tenor saxophone
CIA was blowin’ on the slide trombone
The Harvard boy from New York went crash, boom, bang
The whole of Wall Street was the purple gang

Let’s rock; everybody, let’s rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin’ to the Facebook Rock

The advertiser said to number three
“You’re the cutest fan I ever did see
I sure would be delighted with your data feed”
Come on and do the Facebook Rock with me

Let’s rock; everybody, let’s rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin’ to the Facebook Rock

Organic reach was sittin’ on a block of stone
Way over in the corner weepin’ all alone
The warden said, “Hey, buddy, don’t you be no square
If you can’t find an audience, buy a whole lot here

Let’s rock; everybody, let’s rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin’ to the Facebook Rock

Twitter said to Bugs, “For Heaven’s sake
No one’s lookin’; now’s our chance to make a break”
Bugsy turned to Twitter and he said, “Nix, nix
I want to stick around a while and get my clicks

Let’s rock; everybody, let’s rock
Everybody in the whole cell block
Was dancin’ to the Facebook Rock

Dancin’ to the Facebook Rock
Dancin’ to the Facebook Rock
Dancin’ to the Facebook Rock
Dancin’ to the Facebook Rock
Dancin’ to the Facebook Rock

 

Dear Kevin

I just want to apologise for criticising your website in public last week – it was unfair of me to call it a “piece of shit” in front of a room full of people.

I know that you must have spent quite a bit of time and money to get it launched seven years ago. And anyway, word on the street is those particular shades of brown are going to be big again in 2015… so you’re actually on the cutting edge there. Respect.

Just who the hell did I think I was when I said that the stock image on your homepage looked ridiculous?? Hey, that was my mistake – two suited-up alpha-males facing off on a chessboard is powerful stuff. I should have seen it for what it was: a multi-layered business metaphor.

And what about that totally cheap crack I made about you not having your telephone number anywhere on the site? A contact form alone is perfectly fine for people who need to get in touch with you. On reflection, I hate it too when potential new clients call me on the phone – usually right when I’m in the middle of something!

Bigger, brighter, wider websites – who needs em? The way your little site floats in the middle of my computer screen all surrounded by black is a statement of confidence in of itself – you just don’t see enough of that  ‘devil may care’ attitude anymore.

Here it is: my core misunderstanding was that I didn’t appreciate what a super-busy operator you are – there’s really no way a guy like you should ever need to spare a passing thought for his primary, branded online presence. Just let it be, everything’s cool Mac. Sheesh, like you I’ve got to learn not to get so uptight over the little things.

So Kevin, I’m totally back in my box where I belong. I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?

Best,
Tim

P.S. Fully loving that Facebook page you guys have happening. To help make up for my potty mouth in public I’ve gone ahead and liked your page, boosting your fan-count almost into double figures. And I’m really looking forward to seeing your stuff on my newsfeed. I showed my wife your last post, the one with the cat rollerblading… we both laughed until it hurt. Keep it coming!

 

You’re outsourcing too much. You’ve made, and are making, unnecessary payments to others for those simple tasks which you need performed repeatedly. You know the sort: basic image manipulation for a branded social media banner or post; adding, amending or deleting content from your website; analytics reporting (to name just a few). It seems like an easy out but it’s counter-productive for both you and your business:

It’s a mystery
It looks complicated and it’s not. Because of your triple-digital IQ and open mind we can teach you how do all of this stuff within minutes or hours – with the same ease your consultant/ agency learnt how to do it. Better still, get your agency to show you how any of it’s done next time rather than getting them to parachute it into you directly.

No feel for the tools
“But you never asked us for that.” You’ll hear that after discovering a new tool, application or process all by yourself and then asking your agency why they never offered it to you as an option. When you play with the tools yourself you get a feel for them and their wider application (because you don’t know what you don’t know).

Life in the slow lane
In the time it takes to communicate your requirement you could have done it yourself (really). And get it the way you wanted it the first time before your brief was misinterpreted.

The axe
Lots of little costs =  one big cost. One day you’ll announce “Let’s cut this big cost.” i.e. axe this consultant/ agency. Then a bunch of small but important things will stop getting done because neither you or anyone else  internally knows how to do any of it (most of the internet’s stale websites have gone down this path).

The fun police
Don’t be your own fun police. Get hands-on with the tools – YOU’LL LIKE IT. You may even decide to set up your own consultancy once you work out how simple it is, how much fun it can be, and how many people are willing to pay easy coin to get others to do it for them.